Facing rejection, animosity or indifference from both, the gay black man in America is in a constant quest for identity. Trying to find one’s self in other men, I learned, is a surefire way to get lost. It was only when I started to see value in myself that I was able to come to grips with my “preference” and what it meant. By being able to find myself attractive, I’m slowly freeing myself from having my self-worth determined by other people. It’s a process, but there’s nothing more affirming than sucking down two scoops of confidence and feeling your own oats. And while I still like white boys — especially white boys with big butts — I’ve realized that I like anyone with a big butt. If you think about it, my ability to appreciate the ample posteriors of all races is ultimately what Dr. Martin Luther King’s dream was all about. Don’t think about it too hard, but it’s in there — trust me.

I started a weekly dating column on Gay.net chronicling the ups and mostly downs of finding love — or at the very least, a dude who’ll text you ever again — in New York. I knew being a wanton harlot would eventually pay off. I did not, however, have any say on the artwork.

Dating as a gay man in New York often proves, ironically, fruitless. Every date is the potential one— until he isn’t. The love of your life one night won’t return your texts the next morning, presumably because he’s disappeared into that special place in hell reserved for anyone that’s not you. Romance is fleeting, love is capricious, hookups are easy and she has had it.

[…]

Let The First Lady Of Cameroon Chantal Biya Teach You How To Dress For Every Occasion

Heads of state have many obligations, what with the balancing of budgets, the quelling of insurgents and just generally gallivanting about the world. This flurry of activity begs the question: What to wear?

Chantal Biya, the so-fabulous-it-hurts First Lady of Camerooooooooooooon, has the answer. Meeting the Pope? Contrasting black shroud with hair piled high to the heavens. Havig a kiki with Michelle Obama? Fuchsia pantsuit with a mullet. Going to the laundromat?  Full face. Hell, waking up in the morning: full face.

Janet Jackson Is Coming Out With A New Album, Says Album Producer

The world may be going to hell in a hand-basket, but rest assured, everything is going to be okay: Janet’s back.

Miss Jackson — because we’re all nasty here — is coming out with a new album, according to the album’s engineer. In an interview with studio speaker company Barefoot Sounds, vocal producer and engineer Ian Cross confirmed that Janet has been in the studio working on a new album.

You feel that, kids? It’s the universe giving you life!

The Intimate Britney Spears: Brit’s Greatest Underwear Moments

Britney Spears’s career was made on and in bras, so it makes sense for the S.S. Brit Brit to blindly steer into the waters of sleepwear apparel. Britney’s collaboration with Change Lingerie, The Intimate Britney Spears, hits stores and online September 9, continuing the hallowed Spears tradition of “blazing a trail for modern day female empowerment.”

In the spirit of all that female empowerment, let’s take a look back at Britney’s greatest “intimate” moments.

Andy Cohen Is A Top, Says A “Surprised” Anderson Cooper
During the show, viewers at home asked AC360 to reveal a “bombshell” about AC420 and it went something like this:

AC360: I know a lot of secrets about Andy, but I guess the one that would surprise people the most is that he’s a top.
*One then sees the shade begin to descend from the heavens, released by Nene Leakes from her perch on Mt. Olympus.*
AC420: Why, you think people think I’m a bottom?
Kelly: I don’t.
*rimshot*
AC360: Believe me, there’s nothing wrong with that, but I’m just saying, I think that would surprise people — I don’t know this from personal experience, but from conversations you and I have had.
End Scene.

Andy Cohen Is A Top, Says A “Surprised” Anderson Cooper

During the show, viewers at home asked AC360 to reveal a “bombshell” about AC420 and it went something like this:

AC360: I know a lot of secrets about Andy, but I guess the one that would surprise people the most is that he’s a top.

*One then sees the shade begin to descend from the heavens, released by Nene Leakes from her perch on Mt. Olympus.*

AC420: Why, you think people think I’m a bottom?

Kelly: I don’t.

*rimshot*

AC360: Believe me, there’s nothing wrong with that, but I’m just saying, I think that would surprise people — I don’t know this from personal experience, but from conversations you and I have had.

End Scene.

Cue the World’s Smallest Violin: Man Mortgages House for Micropenis Cure
While having a micropenis is no laughing matter, it’s the end of the day and I feel like having a little chuckle. A really little chuckle.
First, the backstory: “Mike” (last name :”Ro-Johnson”) is a 33-year-0ld Australian man with a “basically infant sized” penis. A micropenis, for all you penile aficionados out there, is any erect penis that stands less than 2 3⁄4 inches. It’s caused him a lot of distress in life. He’s only had sex twice — unbeknownst to the women he had sex with — he didn’t play football for fear of the locker room — and you know how straight boys love to grab gab on the penis — and he has low-hanging self-esteem.
Since, much like me, people tend not to take micropenii seriously, Mike has had a hard time bringing up his member. Once, his mother took him to a female pediatrician to discuss his teeny peeny, and the doctor simply responded, “I’ve seen smaller” followed by, “On your husband last night!” Then there was a rimshot and everyone laughed and laughed and laughed and Mike died inside.
Frustrated by being dicked around, Mike mortgaged his home to pay for the $45,000 surgery, which still, sadly, left him limp.

However Mike said he failed to see significant improvement because a ligament regrafted itself onto a dermal fat graft and he is still yet to have post-surgery intercourse.

Aaaah! My eyes and ears! Make that image go away!
"Pre-surgery, I was 2-3cm flaccid and I’m now 4cm," Mike told MSN in 2012. “My erection is probably around 7cm.”
And that one too.
However, Mike — much like the two women he had sex with — is not going to take his micropenis lying down. He’s ready to shell out another $68,000 for two more surgeries to put the man back in his manhood.
The real travesty here is that if Mike was gay this wouldn’t be a big problem. It would be a micro-problem, but he could just bottom out and call it a gay. Of course to some gays, a micropenis is anything shorter than seven inches. So good luck to you, Mike. If this dick surgery doesn’t do well, you’ll always be a dick to me.
h/t: The Daily Mail

Cue the World’s Smallest Violin: Man Mortgages House for Micropenis Cure

While having a micropenis is no laughing matter, it’s the end of the day and I feel like having a little chuckle. A really little chuckle.

First, the backstory: “Mike” (last name :”Ro-Johnson”) is a 33-year-0ld Australian man with a “basically infant sized” penis. A micropenis, for all you penile aficionados out there, is any erect penis that stands less than 2 34 inches. It’s caused him a lot of distress in life. He’s only had sex twice — unbeknownst to the women he had sex with — he didn’t play football for fear of the locker room — and you know how straight boys love to grab gab on the penis — and he has low-hanging self-esteem.

Since, much like me, people tend not to take micropenii seriously, Mike has had a hard time bringing up his member. Once, his mother took him to a female pediatrician to discuss his teeny peeny, and the doctor simply responded, “I’ve seen smaller” followed by, “On your husband last night!” Then there was a rimshot and everyone laughed and laughed and laughed and Mike died inside.

Frustrated by being dicked around, Mike mortgaged his home to pay for the $45,000 surgery, which still, sadly, left him limp.

However Mike said he failed to see significant improvement because a ligament regrafted itself onto a dermal fat graft and he is still yet to have post-surgery intercourse.

Aaaah! My eyes and ears! Make that image go away!

"Pre-surgery, I was 2-3cm flaccid and I’m now 4cm," Mike told MSN in 2012. “My erection is probably around 7cm.”

And that one too.

However, Mike — much like the two women he had sex with — is not going to take his micropenis lying down. He’s ready to shell out another $68,000 for two more surgeries to put the man back in his manhood.

The real travesty here is that if Mike was gay this wouldn’t be a big problem. It would be a micro-problem, but he could just bottom out and call it a gay. Of course to some gays, a micropenis is anything shorter than seven inches. So good luck to you, Mike. If this dick surgery doesn’t do well, you’ll always be a dick to me.

h/t: The Daily Mail

Laganja Estranja Lights Up At Krysta Youngs’s “Gold Grill BBQ”

Showing admirable restraint, Miss Estranja waits almost a full two minutes before doing one of her signature splits, instead of just death-dropping within the first five seconds of the video. It seems she’s finally learned that a deathdrop is better as a closing statement, not as an opening salvo.