Being So In Love with the Look of the World

Tonight I cannot stand to let anyone look me in the eyes
For fear that they’ll only see the darkness inside
There is a hurt that grows and grows in this eternal night
My eyes blink, but alas, they cannot see the light
There was a time these streets filled me with Life
And I saw the dawn of each day sharply as a knife
Therein the dawn was hope — rise, begin
Hope that set with the sun, never to rise again
Then, I was in the world, not just of it
And tomorrow was something to hope for, to cherish, to covet
Now, I’m weary, finding no reason to strive
What difference does it make if one is dead or alive?
Oh, the beauty of it all confounded me
My future was my reflection and I drowned in me
This precious idealism marked my self-anointment
As a saint among sinners scarred with disappointment
Oh, but I cherished that dawn, its dew like a pearl
Being so in love with the look of the world

                                         ***

I haven’t written a poem in a while, but I’m feeling over…pretty much everything. I’m over New York. I’m over freelancing. I’m over love and the search for it. And I’m ready to move on. I’m currently in the process of figuring out what that entails.

The title is a reference to Toni Morrison’s Beloved, which I’m currently reading and is giving me life:

"…being so in love with the look of the world, putting up with anything and everything, just to stay alive in a place where a moon he had no right to was nevertheless there."

Beyoncé And Nicki Minaj Woke Up Like Dis? New “Flawless (Remix)” Video

Flaunting more curves than a 9th grade geometry class, most popular girls in school Beyoncé and Nicki Minaj team up and show out in the “Flawless (Remix)” video.

Since they’re both presumably too busy touring, guest versing, stacking paper and flipping lacefronts, Bey and Nicki did the old concert footage music video stunt. It’s real cute for them, though, especially since they both bring it to their live performances. I mean, we know Beyoncé brings it — like American Express, she never leaves home without it — but Nicki steps her game up.

Queen Bey and the Queen of Rap. Get into it. Get into both of them. Though, I was really hoping for Solange to do a Chun-Li spin out onto the stage in yet another Versace catsuit, but alas.

Jada Pinkett-Smith’s Baddest Boss Bitch Moments From Gotham

Jada Pinkett-Smith is back on TV as crime boss Fish Mooney on Fox’s new Batman-prequel series, Gotham.

With a flawless wig, perfectly manicured claws, and a wardrobe that not only borders on tacky but sets up camp in it, Jada’s like a drag queen come to life. And she’s giving us all kinds of bad-assery, equal parts Norma Desmond, Eartha Kitt, Coco Montrese and Lil’ Kim.

As Mooney, Jada runs Gotham’s seedy criminal underbelly with a with a tight fist, though the crime she’s really guilty of is stealing every scene she’s in. She’s serving us fish, but Mooney is all shark—and the best thing on Gotham.

White Girls by Hilton Als gives LIFE. Featuring meditations on gender, race, and American culture, it’s a must-read — particularly the essays on Michael Jackson, Richard Pryor and André Leon Talley. Below, a few of my favorite passages:

“Tristes Topiques” 

I couldn’t physically take how much I wanted to be loved and how much I felt when I was. [p. 18] 

I was attracted to him from the first because I am always attracted to people who are not myself but are. [p.27] 

I’ve lived in New York long enough to know that any kind of failure is contagious. [p. 33] 

…half living life so I can get down to really living it by writing about it. [p.49] 

…I said how marvelous it must be to be married; you could have sex whenever you wanted it. What did I know? I didn’t grow up with anyone who had been married in any conventional sense. Having not grown up hearing complaints about the old ball and chain, I longed to be one; what a novelty, to be a source of love and irritation, all at once. [p. 62] 

… You were like every human being on the planet in that what you saw in the person you loved most was the person you were frightened of most, which is to say yourself, and so I guess the world is full of twins, beings who are attracted to themselves even as they are repelled by and drawn to that same-only-different equation. [p.72] 

“Michael” 

Bias-related crimes aside (black gay men are more likely to be bashed by members of their own race than by nonblacks), there’s the bizarre fact that queerness reads, even to some black gay men themselves, as a kind of whiteness. [p.181] 

“The Only One”

[André Leon] Talley’s fascination stems, in part, from his being the only one.  In the media or the arts, the only one is usually male, always somewhat “colored,” and almost always gay. His career is based, in varying degrees, on talent, race, nonsexual charisma, and an association with people in power. To all appearances, the only one is a person with power, but is not the power. [p.199] 

For him, romance is not about ending his loneliness; rather, it flows from the idea, expounded by Baudelaire, that love is never truly attained, only yearned for….Talley’s romantic yearnings are melancholic: he is susceptible to the prolonged, unrequited “crush” but is immune to involvement. He avoids engaging men he is attracted to. Generally, he is attracted to men who avoid him. He avoids the potential rejection and hurt that are invariable aspects of romantic love. Going to a gay bar with Talley, then, is an odd experience. In gay bars, as a rule, all bets are off: everyone is the same as everyone else because everyone is after the same thing. In a sense, the common pursuit divests everyone present of his title. Talley rarely speaks to anyone and lays the blame for their lack of immediate interest in him on racism, or on the sexually paranoid environment that AIDS has fostered everywhere. [p.200]

“Scandal” And “How To Get Away With Murder” Double Up On Gay Sex

First of all, can we just give a moment of thanks to Shonda Rhimes for giving black ladies and gay men life on Thursdays? Historically those are the only two demographics I care about and it’s nice that the rest of America is catching up. Last night, Rhimes’s two shows, Scandal andHow to Get Away with Murder, provided a double dose of sexy gay storylines — double your pleasure, double your fun.

Moscow Is Burning As These Russian Voguers Deathdrop For Their Lives

Though Russia is famous more for being , let’s say, a bit intolerant when it comes to the gays, apparently Paris Is Burning — Jennie Livingston’s seminal documentary on ball culture — deathdropped behind the iron curtain when no one was looking.

No one except maybe the House of Mafia, a Russian voguing house whose members are gagging that overgrown orangutan, President Vladimir Putin. Because he just can’t take it.

Reader Calls Out Time Magazine’s Homophobia In 1948 Letter About Truman Capote
In 1948,  Truman Capote caused a literary stir with his first novel, Other Voices, Other Rooms — the semi-autobiographical tale of an effeminate 13-year-old who moves to New Orleans following the death of his mother.
Twentieth-Century Fox optioned the movie rights sight unseen, andLife magazine hailed the 23-year-old wunderkind as one of America’s young writers to watch—all before the book was even published.
Other Voices spent nine weeks on The New York Times Bestseller list, with noted literary giant W. Somerset Maugham calling Capote “the hope of modern literature.”
Time magazine was not having any of it: In its review, dug up to commemorate what would have been Capote’s 90th birthday yesterday, an unnamed critic dismissed the novel as “a literary contrivance of unusual polish” and criticized “the distasteful trappings of its homosexual theme.”

Reader Calls Out Time Magazine’s Homophobia In 1948 Letter About Truman Capote

In 1948,  Truman Capote caused a literary stir with his first novel, Other Voices, Other Rooms — the semi-autobiographical tale of an effeminate 13-year-old who moves to New Orleans following the death of his mother.

Twentieth-Century Fox optioned the movie rights sight unseen, andLife magazine hailed the 23-year-old wunderkind as one of America’s young writers to watch—all before the book was even published.

Other Voices spent nine weeks on The New York Times Bestseller list, with noted literary giant W. Somerset Maugham calling Capote “the hope of modern literature.”

Time magazine was not having any of it: In its review, dug up to commemorate what would have been Capote’s 90th birthday yesterday, an unnamed critic dismissed the novel as “a literary contrivance of unusual polish” and criticized “the distasteful trappings of its homosexual theme.”

Mz 007 Will Give You Life With Self-Love Anthem “Important”

The moment I wake up, before I put on my make-up, I’m blasting Mz 007′s “Important.” The St. Louis rapper and certified bad bitch dropped the anthemic track last month, an ode to just how fly she is. It’s just the song you need to greet the day and get ready to start snatching wigs like it’s your true calling.